How To Identify Your Core Values

One of the biggest steps towards living an authentic life is identifying your core values, but it’s something that is often overlooked. Why? Because it requires you to dig deep. It requires you to be honest with yourself. You want to start living a life that feels more aligned with who you are, but who are you really? That is the question we’ll explore throughout this post by working through the process to identify your core values.

What Are Core Values?

A core value is a fundamental belief held by a person that defines their actions and decisions. Your core values influence your morals,  your behavior, and how you feel about your behavior and others’ behavior.¹ In that way, they are similar to attitudes and beliefs. However, unlike attitudes and beliefs, values are a lot more long-lasting and not as easily changed. 

In other words, you are who you are because of your core values, even if you can’t explicitly name them. 

Why Are They So Important to Authentic Living?

Identifying your core values is such an important step in the process of realigning with yourself because they give you a basis to better understand yourself and your motivations. Let’s look at some examples. 

Example 1

Let’s say you’re an accountant. You’ve been an accountant for years and you’re very good at your job. Despite that, you feel as though your life lacks purpose. You feel empty. After doing some inner work and questioning why you feel this way, you discover that one of your core values is creativity, but you have no creative outlet in your life right now.

Upon realizing this, you decide to sign up for pottery classes. You find that when you’re creating your bowls and mugs and sculptures, your hour-long pottery class passes by in the span of what feels like minutes. You want to continue feeling the joy that your classes bring you throughout the day so bring some of your creations to your office desk, and you replace your store-bought mugs with ones you designed. Suddenly, you don’t feel so empty anymore, because you’ve integrated your passion into your daily life. You’re no longer repressing your core values, you’re welcoming them. You’ve found purpose.

Example 2

Maybe you’re an over-achiever. Your whole life, you’ve found meaning and purpose in success, and now you’re at the top of your field. You have the perfect house, the perfect spouse, the perfect family, and you’re a leader in your community. Despite this, you feel like you’re not enough. You thought you valued success and material things, but when you take a step back and reflect on why you feel this way,  you discover that deep down, you actually value freedom. You feel as though all the “perfect” things in your life are actually the bars on your cage preventing you from living the life you want.

To gain back a sense of control, you set a goal to implement more intentional choices in your life. At first, you start by slowing down and taking the time to appreciate the little joys throughout your day. After a while, you realize that your practice of slow living and mindfulness is what makes you feel alive. You discover that this is your true passion, and, rather than living a life of hustle, always working and living for someone or something else, you take back control over your life. You stop letting material things and the image of success run your life. You align your life with your core values of freedom, simplicity, and expression, and decide to start your own business, giving you the freedom to be authentically you.

The beautiful thing is, once you identify your core values, only you can know what you need to feel more fulfilled, and choosing to do what is best for you is one of the bravest choices you can make. 

How to Identify Your Core Values

Now that you have a better sense of why identifying your core values is so important, let’s look at how to do that. There are a couple different processes you can follow to help you identify your core values. 

Reflect on What Makes You Happy

The first is to reflect on things that are important to you or make you happy. Try either journaling or talking with a trusted friend or family member to answer the following questions. Take your time and remember, there are no wrong answers. 

• What does your dream life look like? Be specific and don’t limit yourself.
• Describe 3 times when you’ve been the most proud of yourself. What do those events have in common?
• What values have been present in the times you’ve felt truly happy and fulfilled? (i.e. connection, creativity, freedom)
• Name times when you’ve felt frustrated or upset. What values were being disregarded?

Once you have answers to those questions, look for common themes. What values are present throughout all four questions? Maybe it’s honesty, knowledge, respect, balance, faith, or growth. Choose the themes/values that feel the most “you”.

Reflect on Uncomfortable Situations

If you’re having trouble identifying your core values from this process, try thinking about it a different way. Have you ever done something and then regret it later because it didn’t feel right? Maybe you got into a fight with a significant other or a friend and, in the heat of the moment, you said something that you didn’t mean and regretted it later. You consider yourself a kind person but in that moment you said something uncharacteristically spiteful. The resulting mental discomfort is called cognitive dissonance and it occurs when a person’s actions do not align with their values or beliefs.² Reflecting on times you’ve felt out of alignment like that is another way to identify your core values. If your daily actions or decisions cause you to feel a sense of discomfort or stress, chances are that what you’re doing does not align with your core values.

To find your core values using this process, make a list of times when you’ve felt that discomfort. 

• What were you doing? 
• What was causing you the discomfort? 
• Did you try to justify your actions? How?

Notice the patterns and themes of the times you’ve experienced cognitive dissonance, and think of what values you could have that you were acting out of alignment with. 

Incorporating Your Core Values in Your Life

While identifying your core values can be challenging and takes time, making the intentional choice to start living in alignment with them is what will really make a difference in your life. It can be overwhelming at first, so it is important to start small, with manageable goals. Start by noticing how you feel throughout your day. Are there times when you’re so happy hours fly by like minutes? Are there times when you experience cognitive dissonance? Become very self aware and notice where you can make small changes to act more in alignment with your values. Make it a habit to become mindful of this every day. And don’t be afraid to let your values stand out in your work and in the way you communicate and convey yourself! Part of living authentically is letting your true colors shine, especially if it’s different from what everyone else is doing.

Closing Thoughts

Authentic living starts with simplicity; breaking down who you are into clear and simple terms. Identifying your core values does just that. Hopefully now you have a clearer picture of who you are at your core and can make more aligned decisions with that information. But don’t just write down your values on a piece of paper, fold it up, and never look at it again. Revisit your values often and question yourself. Are you making intentional choices to live in alignment with them? What areas have you made progress in? Are there areas that could still use work?

Most importantly, always remember to be gentle with yourself. Personal growth is a journey, not a straight line. Remember to stay true to yourself because in the end, that’s all that matters on this journey: you.

1.  Davis, Tchiki. “Core Values: List, Examples, and Exercises.” The Berkeley Well-Being Institute. Accessed July 14, 2025. https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/core-values.html. ↩︎
2.  McLeod, Saul. “Cognitive Dissonance in Psychology: Definition and Examples.” Simply Psychology, June 20, 2025. https://www.simplypsychology.org/cognitive-dissonance.html. ↩︎